Chapter 1 Of Brazen Head

She said “My mother lost my father when I was seven years old and she was five months pregnant with my youngest sister. Life was different for us since the company that had to pay my mother money from my father’s death closed the business and we didn’t have any life insurance and he was the major breadwinner. We moved with my grandmother for a while and my mother relationship with her mother were not in good term because both of them had a choleric personality. We slept outside under ovacado’s tree in the yard, sometime over my mother’s friend home and one time in the cemetary. Our life got better after my uncle came to the USA and sent for his sisters and brothers.
By the time I got married and have kids, I was afraid that I might died and left my children with only one parent. Because of her experiences my mother understood the dissapointment I felt after my divorced after thirteen years of marriage. The experience left me hurt and looking at people in different ways because of the lies that my ex husband told other people, I do not want to hold on to the bitterness that I felt. We have a great relationship because she knew that when my finances allowed me to support her that I did my best to give her a comfortable life and she got to brag about me. I know that she worried about me and want the best for me. My sister would sometime said to me that I was saying things like our mother because I would asked her if she was going to prepared foods for her spouse. When I was married I made sure that my spouse’s foods were ready for him even when were mad at each other.
My mother supported me after the divorced the best way she can and she would prayed for me all the times, she kept me company during the days, she used the money she had to helped me with the business that I was running after my ex husband ruined it.
I understood more what she went through because as single mom so many men offered to helped me but wanted something from. They were married men that wanted someone else on the side, they had no shame in lying or trying to take advantage when I was in my lowest point in my life. Unless you are spiritually strong or mature, you will fall for their lies and ended up loosing yourself.
I realized that I am as forgiven and strong as my mother because I wanted things to be done a certain way in the business that I was running with my then husband but his sisters gave me such a hard times that I ended up resenting their relationship. I started to compete for his loved and didn’t focus on my own vision. I have so much in me to do but I couldn’t let go of what I built with him that I became bitter, and eventually I asked him to give me the divorce. I am working on forgiveness and the bitterness so I can move a step further to receive the provisions that God has for me.”

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