All posts by Marie Diaz-Cervo

About Marie Diaz-Cervo

Mother, Author, Substitute teacher, Social media Consultant who blogs about Social issues, Relationship, Inspiration and Social media. Enjoys beaches, fashion, kickboxing, writing at www.amazon.com/author/mariediazcervo

Corporal Punishment

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

So many people are still so accustomed to corporal punishment, they can not refrain from it. It also takes lots of discipline to not put a child on timeout when the child’s behavior is not good. If people know how to properly speak and work with children, it would help so much with the children’s confidence. For example, you redirect a child when he or she is displaying a bad behavior.

I went to the doctor last week to get a TB test and while I sat in the waiting room, a young mother who just had a baby last weekend was there with her other two children. The younger child did not want to seat on the chair next to her and she told her again and again to come and seat and the refused. Finally, the mom got so upset and grabbed the child’s arm and she pinched her daughter’s skin because she was so mad at her. I could not believe she was doing that in public and I was shocked and another parent was there witnessing the whole ordeal. She just looked at me and shook her head in disbelief.

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Corporation

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

I had to do a lot of self-development in order to run the cooperation with the team for a number of years while my husband was running the financial business full time in order to get promoted to Regional Vice-President. I had to learn deal with different personalities, some were melancholy, sanguine, choleric and so on. I had to know what type of personality I was and had to work on myself to be a better leader. Actually, the most difficult personality helped me to be a better leader, sometime I would question it was my gender, color or nationality. At the time I learned that it wasn’t personal, I learned to forgive. The stress took a toll on my health, I was hemorrhaging constantly and would get very tired. I had to slow down and asked God for a miracle to get back my health.

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.” – Steve Martin

Are You Promotable?

By Dr. Travis Bradberry

It’s almost September, and year-end reviews are just around the corner. It isn’t too late to show your boss that you’re worthy of a promotion.

Maybe you’ve been holding down the same position for a few years and are ready to move up. Maybe your company is going through some internal shuffling and you’re expecting your dream job to open up. Or, maybe you’ve been disappointed a few too many times by other people getting promoted ahead of you.

Whatever the reason, you want to make certain now that you’re ready to move up. In other words, you need to make certain that your boss sees it that way.

Anthony Greenwald at the University of Washington has studied bias more than just about anyone, and his research findings have major implications for your ability to get promoted. His recent studies showed that unconscious workplace biases tend to stay constant, and bosses follow these biases, whether they are aware of them or not.

“People are claiming that they can train away biases,” Greenwald says, “[They’re] making those claims without evidence.”

When it comes to getting promoted, you want to present yourself in a way that feeds into the biases that bosses’ have about what makes someone promotable. You’re already doing the hard work, so why not frame your effort in such a way that it increases your chances of obtaining the position you want?

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While this probably sounds a bit manipulative, there are several straightforward things that you can do to showcase your work and make certain that you’re promotable. The following five actions will appeal to your boss’s inherent biases about promotability, without you being disingenuous.

1. Stretch your boundaries

Anybody (well, almost anybody) can do what they’re told. To get promoted, you have to go above and beyond. Taking on additional responsibilities without being asked is not only a great way to demonstrate your work ethic, energy, and skills, but it also lets your boss know that you’re ready (and able) to expand your scope. When you take on more than the norm, your boss can’t help but think that you’re capable of a bigger role. This includes showing that you’re willing to take risks by making innovative suggestions.

2. Don’t be too irreplaceable

Most people fail at this. Of course, performing at your highest level regardless of the position you’re in is always the best idea. The key here is not to be seen as the only person capable of performing the necessary duties in the position that you want to move on from. If you do, your boss will conclude that promoting you isn’t worth the trouble (and risk) of finding someone to replace you. The best way to find a balance between doing your best and showing that you’re ready for more is by developing other people. As tempting as it is to hoard knowledge, don’t. Instead, make certain that there are others who know how to do important aspects of your job. Plus, teaching is a critical leadership skill. So, in addition to alleviating concerns about finding your replacement, you’ll demonstrate that you can handle the responsibility that comes with a more advanced position.

3. Demonstrate emotional intelligence (EQ)

You might be able to get away with being a temperamental genius in entry-level positions, but you’ll never move past that without emotional intelligence. If you’re the type who’s prone to temper tantrums when things don’t go your way; losing your cool when people cross you; storming out of rooms, yelling; or going silent during conflict, you’re signaling to your boss that you don’t want a promotion. No boss wants to be known as the guy or gal who promoted a short-fused person. Once you’re promoted, your behavior is a reflection of the judgment of the person who promoted you. Show your boss that you have enough self-awareness to acknowledge your weaknesses and to work to improve them. This will prove you’re capable. Emotional self-control is the result of hard work, not an inherent skill.

4. Make certain you speak the company’s language

Bosses appreciate vision more than anything. They love it when you see what could be useful to the company over the long term and tell them about it in language they understand. As you move up in any company, your choice of language becomes increasingly important. It’s no longer enough to simply be an expert at what you do; you have to demonstrate that you understand how the work you do serves the business. That means learning the vocabulary of the executive team and your boss. Whether that’s KPIs, EBITA, profit margin, market share, failure rate, or what have you, know what the terms mean and why they’re important so that you can use them correctly when speaking with upper management. Speaking the right language will not only show that you’re interested in more than your current role, but it will also demonstrate your intelligence and fit within the company.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for it

Not everybody wants to be promoted; some people are perfectly happy doing the same job for years on end. If you don’t tell your boss otherwise, he or she may assume that you’re one of them. When the time comes to show up in your boss’s office and say, “I’m interested in a promotion,” it’s important that you have something specific in mind—if not a specific job title, then at least a clear idea of what the responsibilities might include and how this ties in to your career goals. And, if the job requires skills you don’t have yet, outline your plan for acquiring them.

Bringing It All Together

You may not get the promotion you’re aiming for. If that happens, ask for feedback, but stay away from sour-grapes questions like “Why did you pick him and not me?” In fact, don’t speak about the person who got the promotion at all. Instead, ask which of the critical skills you lack and what you need to do to be ready for the next opportunity. Don’t argue; just listen, and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. Just make certain you follow through on the suggestions you’re given. If your boss suggests some things you can do to become more promotable and you don’t follow through, don’t expect to be considered the next time around.

Promotions don’t just happen, and they’re not a guaranteed result of high performance. That’s because you don’t get promoted as a reward for what you’ve already done. You get promoted because your boss thinks you have the potential to add more value in a larger role.

About the Author: Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning coauthor of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the cofounder of TalentSmart® the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry is a LinkedIn Influencer and a regular contributor to Forbes, Inc., Entrepreneur, The World Economic Forum, and The Huffington Post. He has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Fast Company, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, andThe Harvard Business Review.

When I Was 10 Years old

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

I realized that I became a young adult as soon as my mother left for America, she left my younger brother who was very young and I had to step up and be an older sister to him. I took care of him and continued my education.

I was ten years old when my mother went to the USA and I tried to be the be the best me that I can be. I did not have to cook or do laundry because we had a lady who did that part. All I know is to be a person who helps others and be good to others.

I Noticed

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

I noticed when I do not want something or someone, the person would actually want me. Does that mean I need or I have to use the opposite of my mindset? It is not too easy for me because I am a positive thinking person. I find it more healthy for me to think positive. It helps me to believe in others especially children with special needs. They need people who are sweet, affectionate, calm energy and good with kids. They need people to see and believe that they can do things once learn and they can function in society. They are gifted individuals like Albert Einstein.

PEARL

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

It takes three years for a pearl to form, it takes lots of pressure, therefore, you need to know that every test has an expiration.
The work of a pearl is hiding.
Pearl is expensive.
Pearl has a shine.
Have the discipline to tell everybody your problems during the trials and test.
Have the courage not to cheat during the trials
You will not get any answer during the trials.
Do not rush the process or you could waste precious resources.

My Friend

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

My friend has been married for twenty-something years and he and his wife have a daughter in college and a son in High school. He is freedom Israel and she is a blond mute from different countries. They met at a bar and they liked each other so they dated for about one year than they got married. He is an artist who makes signs for business especially restaurants and bars in NYC. He started his business and built it up, so he makes great money and she works as an accountant in the business. She also does real estate on the side, so one day she asked him for a divorced because they were acting more like friends rather than husband and wife. He was shocked and did not understand what happened, so she moved out and got an apartment in the town near him. He was hurt but he made his best to understand her feelings. So, they lived apart or one year and during that time he brought the house from her and their son and daughter resided at the home, but their son spent the week with mom and the weekends with dad. Their daughter lived on campus and came home during the holidays.
My friend stayed in the home alone during the week and made the best of the situation while they got the divorce. He traveled a lot with his male friends when he has free times in his business. He tried to keep his spirit up, but my friend does not believe in God, how can that be when is a Jew from Israel. Although he lived a wildlife when he was younger, he tried drugs and wild crazy sexual encounters.
Somehow, I get attracted to wild and street-smart men. I had a boring childhood because my grandmother was strict and was very religious. I behaved well because I did not want to get discipline in the form of a beaten by her and my uncles. So, my sisters and my brothers and I behaved well to stay out of troubles unlike my cousin Yanithe. I like to spend times with my friend because I feel that he is wise, and he likes to watch the channel from his birth country. His mother and father are still alive, and they live in Israel. When I go to visit him, he teaches me how to play card and other games and he always has foods for us to eat. Anyway, after his divorced, he decided to move to NYC because his son is going to attend college there and he told me that the travel is too much for him. So, he put his house for rent and I suggested to him that maybe it would be better if he sells the house because the rent is very expensive in the area where he lives. He said that he will think about it, the house is very comfortable because he and his ex-wife made all the upgrade and they also have great furniture.
I am comfortable with him for some reasons, my shield is down, and I understand him and what he went through. He did right by his ex-wife compare to my ex-husband. I figured that my ex-husband and I was going to handle the business even though we got divorced. After all the business we started them from scratch, he and I were so proud of what we built and how we helped so many people and we duplicated ourselves.

Career Counseling

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

The client asked her husband for a divorced because he was not there for emotionally, she felt like she was losing her identity. She has a three-year-old daughter with her husband and they did not have the same type of parenting style. He also criticized her right in front of her daughter. He looked down at her and he judged her which a type of emotional abuse. She has a set of value and she does not like people to pressure her into their own value. She is working as a waitress and she has her degree. She can not make up her mind about getting a better job. She is comfortable with a low wage job. She liked to be different more like the black sheep of the family. She got divorced from her parents.

The career counselor utilized the development theories, in this case, he looked at the different relationship in her life. He listened to how each of them impacted her mindset, he can understand how her self-esteem was damaged by her husband. She made the decision to end her marriage to save herself. After the divorced, she has the freedom to make her own mind and she enjoys her freedom to choose her own career. Her happiness and comfort are more important to her than money. She can stand on her own without another person undermine her. As she gains more control of herself, she can make the decision to get a better job or work more hours so she can purchase health insurance.
Self-concept is defined as an individual’s beliefs about himself or herself and can include self-esteem, a person’s attributes, and who and what the self is (Baumeister, 1999).

The client can write goals and plan to get better jobs so she has a better lifestyle. The plan needs to an expiration on when to reach the goals and what steps the client needs to take.
Goals are the end results of the times invest in plans. My goal is to get my degree, therefore, I will keep moving forward despite any obstacles. For example, at one time I had an issue with the internet than I had to relocate because of the Nor Easter.

The counselor listened to the client and rephrase what she said. He kept an open mind and he treated her with respect. He did not force her to make any decision or change her opinion about her beliefs. He was very patient with her and allowed her to know that the decision was hers, not anyone else.
The client has an opportunity to express herself and follow her own goal. She can as much time as she wants to make a decision. After a person leaves a hostile relationship times is a good way to heal and the person can appreciate life.

References:

American Psychological Association (Producer). (2012). Helping a client define his career and life goals. Retrieved from: PsycTHERAPY database

McCarthy, C. J., DeLisi, M., Getzfeld, A. R., McCarthy, C. J., Moss-King, D. A., Mossler, R., Privitera, G. J., Spence, C., Walker, J. D., Weinberg, R. S., & Youssef-Morgan, C. M. (2016). Retrieved from: https://content.ashford.edu/

Leadership & self-Efficacy

By Marie Diaz-Cervo

The behavior specialist at my job is a naturalist and she dresses the part. She loves the special needs children and I like her because she can see me and when I did a great job with the ABLss assessment of the students she told everyone how I did so great and I am really great at. She stood up for me when others just tried to hide my gifts and also took the rewards for my works. Not everybody is capable of shining the light on someone else unless the person has a great self-confidence. The lead teacher did not say a thing about how I helped her and worked hard at my job. While I helped and do my best another coworker tried to emotionally abuse me and I did not know how to deal with it. Since she was a white Italian woman she just figured she can do whatever she wanted, so at a meeting Lisa asked everyone to write a concern about what is going on and I did, then I tried to get rid of the paper but Lisa told me to put it back. At that meeting, the psychologist, social worker, and the lead teacher were also there so they heard my concern and they took action and remove the coworker from the building I was working at.

Achievement motivation is what a person focus on to get the outcome of the goals and plans that he or she set out to get. A person might want to get more money or more recognition, therefore, the end result would be the drive to do the best he or she can at school or at work.

I do my best and learn what I need to learn so I can succeed in achieving the goal and plan that I want to get. Those efforts are the pathway to accomplish what I set out to achieve.

I can increase my own achievement motivation to manage challenges and overcome obstacles as I work toward reaching my goals by focussing on the more impact I will make when I get my degree. People would not be able to say that I do not have the credential to get another higher position at my job. I would make a higher earning which I could help more people who need financial help. I would get more respect and stop the whispering from people who only get the job because they know someone who works at the board of education, I am also motivated to have wealth so I can show my ex-husband that he did not make me. He went and married his mistress a few months after our divorce. My motivation is the keep moving forward without taking another’s woman’s husband.

In order to reach my goal, these two concepts are relevant to help me. Self-determination theory is a concept that will keep me moving forward no matter what the obstacles because I am driving to achieve the goal that I set, I do not need other people to boost me to do what I need to do. Some people can move for internal reasons or external reasons. You can do something because you like it or because of the outcome that would follow. Those who are more intrinsically motivated generally give more effort, persist longer at a task, and perform better than the people who are extrinsically motivated.McCarthy, C. J., DeLisi, M., Getzfeld, A. R., McCarthy, C. J., Moss-King, D. A., Mossler, R., Privitera, G. J., Spence, C., Walker, J. D., Weinberg, R. S., & Youssef-Morgan, C. M. (2016).
Goal setting has the steps for me to achieve the plan. It is in writing and I can look at it to see what is my next task. It makes it easier to see how I am going to reach the goal. There are two ways I can achieve a goal, one is I want to be the best and the other is I want to show off. I can compete with myself or I put other people down.

References:

Bandura, A. (1997).Retrieved from:https://www.countway.harvard.edu/
Judge, T. A., Jackson, C. L., Shaw, J. C., Scott, B. A., & Rich, B. L. (2007). Journal of Applied Psychology, 92(1), 107-127. doi: 10.1037/0021-9010.92.1.107

McCarthy, C. J., DeLisi, M., Getzfeld, A. R., McCarthy, C. J., Moss-King, D. A., Mossler, R., Privitera, G. J., Spence, C., Walker, J. D., Weinberg, R. S., & Youssef-Morgan, C. M. (2016).Retrieved from:https://content.ashford.edu/