Category Archives: Artist

Loneliness

“I’m just an individual who doesn’t feel that I need to have somebody qualify my work in any particular way. I’m working for me.” — David Bowie

The Power of Loneliness

By James Altucher
Everyone loves the David Bowie hit, “Starman.”

“There’s a starman waiting in the sky, he’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds.”

Only…the song is not about a star man.

It’s about the loneliness of two boys. The song starts with a boy late at night listening to the radio. He’s by himself. Thinking there must be something out there.

Then he hears something amazing.

So he calls his friend. Perhaps someone equally lonely, late at night by himself.

“I had to phone someone, so I picked on you. Hey, that’s far out, so you heard him too?”

David Bowie was lonely. He was ostracized by the rock stars before him (The Beatles, The Rolling Stones). He was sexually ambiguous. It was unclear still (even to him) if he was a good musician or not.

And out came “Starman.” And the song changed his life. It changed your life and my life.

He wanted to connect with people like him. He was lonely. He wanted his art, his expression, to touch someone. It touched the world.

I felt like that little boy. Waiting to hear from some mysterious space man that would change my life. “Cause he knows it’s all worthwhile.”

I wanted someone to call. “Hey, that’s far out. You heard him too.”

I’m always afraid of loneliness. Often if I’m by myself I go out and try to meet people. Or I call a friend. Or I force myself to go to a party I don’t want to go to.

But when I’m lonely and use the power of loneliness, often the best things happen to me. I can’t ever forget that. Even the worst times of loneliness.

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Creativity.

That magic art of turning solace into soulfulness and creating art of it.

Introspection.

Rather than seeing yourself through the mirror of others’ eyes (a desperate addiction of mine), being forced to look within and confront what’s there.

I’m always afraid what I will find. I’m always gratified after I do it.

Energy.

Introverts power up when they are by themselves. Not everyone is a pure introvert or pure extrovert. But I tend towards introversion.

I like being around other people. But I know I regenerate when by myself.

If I’m by myself for a day, it’s as if I have recovered all of my superpowers.

Intelligence.

When I’m alone, I’m more disciplined. I read, I write, I try to learn things. I come out of periods of loneliness with knowledge I never would have had otherwise.

A Spy.

Sometimes when I’m lonely I’ll go outside. I’ll watch people. Sometimes I’ll see someone interesting. I’ll go down in the subway with them. I’ll get out at their stop. I’ll follow them as long as I can.

We spend so much time living in the illusions of our own lives we forget about the beauty and knowledge contained in the seven billion other lives on this planet.

To be able to overhear one conversation, to see one thing normally hidden by people from others, to talk to one stranger, is to open up an entire new world to ourselves that we can learn from.

In my mind I am ten years old, I’m curious, I’m a spy.

Sadness.

When my dad died, I felt infinitely sad. Like a black hole in my life had opened up and everything was being sucked into it.

I learned to live with that hole. I reached back and dived into my memories of him in a more personal way than I ever had before.

I still pass his office building, where I spent time as a kid, and feel that pang of loneliness from him not being in my life.

But I learned from him. He lives in me. I take that sadness with me everywhere and bring it to every situation I live in.

It’s that way with all loss in my life. With everyone I have been with and the sadnesses that add up when I miss them. I miss my friends the second after “goodbye.”

Without that loneliness I would be less of a person.

With that loneliness, I learn how to better treat the people who are currently in my life. To know that every love is finite. To treat it with the respect that such antique rarity deserves.

***

David Bowie lived directly across the street from where I live now. He had an office in the same building I once worked.

One time I was in the elevator of that building.

I heard a voice that sounded like velvet. I looked over. It was David Bowie. He really was different. He really was a man by himself.

I walked over to his apartment this morning, about seven months after his death.

I took a photo. It’s still filled with messages from people who missed him. Missed their star man. Missed their friend that they grew up with.

And then I wrote about it.

“I had to phone someone, so I picked on you.”

About the Author: James Altucher is a successful entrepreneur, angel investor, chess master and prolific writer. He has started and run more than 20 companies and is currently invested in over 30. His writing has appeared in major media outlets including the Wall Street Journal, The New York Observer, Tech Crunch,The Financial Times, Yahoo Finance and others. He’s followed up his WSJ Bestselling book Choose Yourself with the Rich Employee to share daily practices that can lead you to be rich, without quitting your job. It’s available on Amazon for only $0.99.

4 Ways to Develop a Culture of Respect and Trust

4 Ways to Develop a Culture of Respect and Trust

By Greg Besner @CulturelQ

 

Employee engagement is a huge challenge today that every company is trying to tackle. What makes employees happy? What keeps them around? And what can we (as leaders, entrepreneurs and fellow colleagues) do about it?

Last week the Society for Human Resource Management released a report stating that “respectful treatment of all employees” was the number-one contributor to job satisfaction. And “trust between employees and senior management” was the second. What an amazingly simple idea for a surprisingly common challenge.

This means that above all of the perks and management tricks, treating each other like people is what really matters. Whether you’re starting a company or part of growing one, developing a culture of respect and trust should be a priority.

1. Listen to each other.

Communication is at the core of human relationships, and it should be no different with your colleagues. Open a dialogue by listening and making people feel comfortable sharing. This is an ongoing process that should go beyond a single engagement survey each year. Collect regular, ongoing employee feedback — and all forms of feedback at that.

Send pulse surveys, host focus groups, plan one-on-one meetings and participate in conversations around the office whenever possible. Sometimes the best feedback happens in these casual settings, when formal barriers are not in place.  

2. Show employees that you care.

In the same way you nod to someone to show them you are listening, make sure employees know you are listening by communicating the findings of any feedback they have provided.

Through my research interviewing hundreds of companies, it stood out to me how well-intentioned feedback efforts can backfire if nothing is done with the new information. Employees want to know that their voices aren’t falling into a black hole. If you can’t make the recommended changes, simply explain why. It’s scary, but transparency like this goes a long way to create a culture of respect and trust.

3. Help each other.

People who respect each other help each other. They support each other as employees and as people. Not only does this mean that employees will have richer, more positive relationships at work but also when there is a culture of support, employees won’t be afraid to ask for help. This ultimately makes everyone more comfortable and effective in his or her job.

4. Encourage everyone to be themselves.

The team-building events at my company CultureIQ, a business providing company culture-management software, have ranged from hiking to volunteering at a soup kitchen and a competitive game night at a local jazz bar. The common thread to these diverse (and seemingly unrelated) events is the team behind it.

Each month we pass the planning of our culture events to a different member of our team, and thus, each employee has an opportunity to bring his or her personality to the table. Not only do we get to know each other during the event itself, but we learn something about each employee through the event they plan. Hiking isn’t everyone’s favorite activity, but it certainly speaks to our product manager’s love for the outdoors, and we all are able to respect and appreciate that together.

The next time you find yourself stumped at retaining and engaging employees, just remember that it comes down to two surprisingly simple concepts: respect and trust.