1) Make yourself vulnerable
2) Demonstrate grace
3) Stand apart
4) Identify with the broken people
5) Speak life
Learn from my mistakes
Use what you have
Do everything for the Lord
Does your relationship pass this test?
Whether you’re entering a new relationship or hitting a significant milestone, it’s natural to question whether you’ve chosen the right partner. We talked to Elizabeth Schoenfeld, Ph.D., director of research and evaluation at LifeWorks and frequent contributor to ScienceofRelationships.com, and Marina Williams, a therapist in Boston and the author of Couples Counseling: A Step by Step Guide for Therapists, about the telltale signs you should look for.
Small, daily gestures of romance are an important part of a supportive relationship, especially when they align with your personal needs. If you’re feeling under the weather, for example, you’ll appreciate your partner more if he or she makes you soup rather than brings home concert tickets, Schoenfeld says. “Having a partner who notices what you need or want in a given moment and responds accordingly bodes well for the long-term potential of your relationship.”
Whether its hugging, kissing, or cuddling before bed, regularly engaging in some form of physical affection is key to feeling connected to your partner, according to Schoenfeld. “Generally speaking, couples who are more physically affectionate with one another tend to be more satisfied with their partners and their relationships—which makes sense, as individuals tend to feel more cared for and understood when their partners show physical affection,” she says. And being affectionate is good for our personal and mental health, too.
How you communicate in the heat of an argument can be a telltale sign of the status of your relationship. In fact, the amount of conflict you engage in with your partner doesn’t matter nearly as much as how the argument is handled, Schoenfeld says. In healthy relationships, each partner responds to conflict in a caring and supportive manner. “If they listen to what you’re saying, respect where you’re coming from, and respond to your disclosures by sharing their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences (without making the conversation all about them), then intimacy is more likely to flourish.”
If you are communicating poorly, however, don’t give up hope. “As a couples counselor, I always love it when the problem is communication because it’s something that’s very easily fixed, granted that the couple is willing to change,” Williams says.
While it’s okay (and perfectly normal) to have different interests from your partner, it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to long-term goals. “Differences can be great for balancing out a couple and making things more interesting socially,” Williams says. “Where I think it’s important to be similar is in your values and goals for the future.” And Schoenfeld agrees: “Prioritize similarities that have long-term implications, such as a shared desire (or lack of desire) for marriage or children.”
by Lawrence Powell
Nestled in the ancient text of 1 John 4 is a powerful principle for contemporary kingdom living. By this principle, we should live our lives, conduct our affairs and minister in the name of Jesus. It is found in verse 4: You are of God, little children, and have overcome them because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
This powerful verse begins with, You are of God, little children… That is emphatic: You are a child of God! It is very important that as a believer you know who you are. If you dont, then you will live far beneath your potential. Youll live like youre somebody else! When you do not know who you are in God, in Christ, Satan will try to keep you from accepting this kingdom principle. Hell work to convince you that youre weak, that youre a loser. Hell have you convinced theres no way out, that your situation is not redeemable. Hell tell you that the sickness attacking your body will be the end of you. But youre not powerless, friend — youre more than a conqueror. Youre a winner! Youre undefeatable!
The scripture goes on to say, You have overcome them. Who is them? This term actually refers to the Antichrist and the spirit of Antichrist, which is in the world. We know from words like antiperspirant that the prefix anti means that which is against, or that which is opposed to. So, antichrist means that which opposes Christ, that which is against Christ. So this spirit of Antichrist is Satan himself, the demonic realm, the demonic agenda, not just the Antichrist personified in End Times teachings.
The spirit of Antichrist will try to deceive you and lead you astray. It will invite you to accept human reason over godly reason, temporal evidence as the facts, but-Good News!-the real fact is you are an overcomer! You may have a treasure in an earthen vessel. Your outward man may be perishing, according to the Scriptures, but your inward man is being renewed day by day. Your body is not perfect: It ages (dont we know it!). But whats most important is who we are in the spirit. While you may stand bent over in pain before a mirror and shake your head at your frailty, God may look upon you as a powerhouse of prayer and faith in the midst of your storm!
John, in his epistle, makes it very clear why we are overcomers: Because greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. Without Jesus in us, there is no overcoming. Theres nothing we can do to save ourselves. We cannot redeem the time or make things new. Theres simply no reason for us to be self-focused or think of ourselves as self-sufficient! No, wisdom declares that we need to be God-focused. God is mighty. He is the One who can save. And He is greater than anything we will ever come against.
It is important to know who you are. Its also extremely important that you know who God is. How big is your God? How great is He? If you see Him as distant or distracted, how will His greatness reach you? If you see Him as too big for your problems, how will you cry out to Him for help? Likewise, if you see Him as a spiritual shadow, how will you have confidence that He can do anything for you? If Hes just a religious figure like Buddha or Muhammad, how can He do for you what you need to be done?
The Scriptures tell us many things about God: He is a Self-revealing God. From the opening statement in the book of Genesis, He reveals His nature to man: In the beginning, God… The Hebrew word is Elohim, the Creator God, the self-existent, eternal and righteous God. If we saw God for who He is, we wouldnt get so discouraged by the evil and godlessness of our culture. If we could keep the greatness of God before our eyes, wed be gripped by His awesome reality. Like the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 3:18, if we saw the greatness of God, we would be changed from one degree of glory to the next.
God is omnipotent (all-powerful, almighty); He is omnipresent (everywhere present); He is omniscient (all-knowing). He is eternal, self-existent. God is self-sufficient. He doesnt need anybody else. He can actually do it all on His own!
God is transcendent, beyond our ability to describe or fully comprehend. But although He is transcendent, He is also imminent. He is God with us. God is sovereign. God is salvation. God is love. He is holy and just. He is righteous. Everything He does is pure and right. Everything He says is truth.
God is good, and His mercy endures forever. God is faithful even when we are unfaithful. God is our Helper, a very real and present help in times of trouble. He is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals us. He is a deliverer, a miracle-worker. And He is immutable (He never changes).
God is still on the throne, my friend! The only way Satan can ever defeat you is if you become ignorant of who you are in Christ. When you know really knowthat the Greater One resides inside you, then defeat is not an option. You will laugh without fear of the future.
We are seated together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, and everything that is under His feet is under our feet as well. When we stand in this truth, we will see victory in our battles. When we stand unified with our other brothers and sisters in the faith, well see the kingdom of darkness pushed back and the glory of God released into our communities, our businesses, our schools, our nation, and our world!
I hope you will evict the lies of the enemy from your life today: discouragement, unbelief, poverty, sicknessyouve got to go in Jesus name! Be of good courage, believer. Lift up your head and get back to doing what God has called you to do. Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world!
by EMMA ORLANDO
Being fearless enough to chase what you want is the ultimate goal for all of us. But in reality, leaving your comfort zone to get everything you want just isn’t that easy. Tired of letting your doubts stop you from reaching your full potential? Fed up of thinking about what could have been? Or, do you just need to face a new chapter? Here’s a 10-step routine for getting what you want, which will help you achieve your goals and dreams faster than ever before!
Before you can go after what you want, you have to be sure it’s definitely the right thing for you. Map out what you want to achieve and how you’ll get there. It will make the end goal much clearer.
Once you know what you want, the initial changes don’t have to be too drastic. Ease yourself in by making little changes every day. Wake up earlier, write to-do lists and take time for yourself. These small changes can make a huge difference.
Whilst you are taking things into your own hands, you may find that you need the help of others too. To get what you want you can’t be afraid to ask for what you need. After all, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
Knowing what you want and achieving it are two very different things. You have to be prepared to work hard and never give up. Your willpower will be tested like never before. Believe in yourself and persevere.
No matter how big or small, to reach to your end goal you have to celebrate every bit of success along the way. This way, you will keep up a positive mindset and be all the more likely to get what you want.
The road to getting what you want is bound to be a bumpy one. Come to terms with the fact that you win some and lose some, instead see it as a new challenge to prove yourself. With this mindset, you will be far more likely to get what you want in the long run.
Just because something is what you once wanted, doesn’t mean that it will always be that way. It’s okay to change your mind. Make sure you regularly ask yourself, ‘will this make me happy?’ and ‘is it worth it?’ This way, you will know exactly how to get what you want.
To get where you want, you have to make sure you are surrounding yourself with people that help get you there. Remove anybody that refuses to help you move forward, celebrate your success or help to pick you up when you are down. You will be surprised how others can stop you from getting what you want.
Being determined to get what you want is great, but you have to make sure you aren’t working too hard to get there and neglecting your social needs. Find that perfect work-life balance and you will find your goals much easier to achieve.
Often, we can become so focused on getting what we want that we forget to appreciate what we have. Take a step back, appreciate what you have achieved and you may find that what you want may already be something you have.
By Daniel Gefen
The Internet has introduced powerful tools to connect millions of people with the simple click of a button.
An email, a tweet, a post. Within seconds, you can reach more people than your ancestors did in a lifetime.
The world has become a ‘numbers game,’ but nobody cares about being a number.
The same tools that you have at your disposal are easily accessible to the other seven billion people on this planet, which means that everyone is being bombarded with emails, tweets, messages and ads on a daily basis.
The way people act online reminds me of how people act when driving their cars.
Normal, well mannered people step into their cars and evolve into insensitive masters of metal.
All of a sudden, everyone else becomes ‘objects’ to avoid, ignore, honk at, shout out, cut off, curse at, etc.
The world has become faceless, but humans crave human interaction.
I started to realize the power of human interaction and developing deep relationships when I started my podcast. It’s amazing what 45-minutes talking to someone can actually do for a relationship. I have interviewed over 65 successful entrepreneurs and make an effort to keep in touch with each of them.
They are all busy people and are probably bombarded with messages from fans trying to connect. But here’s the secret:
They are human beings. And human beings crave deep, meaningful relationships.
How many times has someone tried to get your attention with the same lazy piece of spam?
If it doesn’t work to get your attention, then why try using it to get the attention of others?
The Internet has made people lazy. It’s so easy to mass message or post quick meaningless things in the hope that a percentage of the masses will react.
Lazy people hope for the best. Successful people work hard to make things happen.
Here are some ways you can become memorable:
Most importantly, keep in touch with people on a regular basis—at least once every 90 days.
Ask yourself, what makes others memorable to you?
Now go and become memorable!
Throughout history and around the world, men and women have always sought status and recognition. But in the modern era, the yardstick is almost always the same: economic success.
More bluntly, money.
The benefits of money and status are obvious: freedom, resources, comfort, time, attention, and deference. A lack of status, on the other hand — even if it is only perceived — can lead to sadness, anxiety, and even depression.
Our capitalist system thrives on the pursuit of status. Entrepreneurs take elaborate risks in the pursuit of great rewards. Consumers buy superfluous products — especially luxury brands — they believe confer prestige. The pursuit of status motivates us to develop our talents, work hard, demonstrate excellence, and achieve worthy goals.
In today’s increasingly affluent society, however, our ideas about what are “essential” constantly change.
For example, consider the percentage of Americans who believed the following items were necessities in 1970:
If these were nonessential to Americans 45 years ago, why do hundreds of millions consider them necessities today?
It’s not just that these things make our lives easier and more comfortable. Many folks would feel embarrassed or ashamed to be without them.
Our sense of happiness is based on comparing ourselves to others. Unfortunately, that is a guaranteed recipe for unhappiness.
The problem with making economic success the foundation of personal happiness is that a) you cannot control the economy and b) most companies eventually fail. Needless to say, this undermines job security and financial well-being.
While life will always be uncertain, there is a simple and effective cure for status anxiety: changing the way you think.
Every time we feel satisfied with what we have, however little that may be, we can count ourselves rich.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau insisted there are two ways to make a man wealthier: Give him more money or curb his desires. Or, as Socrates declared as he passed the expensive goods on sale in the Athens agora, “How many things I can do without!”
As for other people’s opinions, whether you get the recognition you believe you deserve is out of your control. But if you haven’t done anything that deserves contempt or disrespect, what difference does it make what someone else thinks?
An obsessive pursuit of status may not just be a waste of time. It could be a waste of a life.
About the Author: Alex Green is the author of excellent books like, The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters, and Beyond Wealth, that show you how to lead a “rich” life during trying economic times.