50 dead, 53 hospitalized in the mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando, my prayers go to the families.
A Guide to Postmortem Parenting
by Will Bonner
If you want to use your money to hold influence over your children’s lives after yours has
ended, then this essay might be of interest…
Maurice Laboz, a Manhattan real estate mogul,
died recently, leaving $20 million to his two
His will is an interesting case study in
The girls — Marlena, 21; and Victoria, 17 —
will inherit $10 million each when they turn 35.
But they can get some of that money sooner if
they meet certain conditions set by their departed
Here are the terms according to the New York Post:
• Marlena will get $500,000 for tying the knot,
but only if her husband signs a sworn statement
promising to keep his hands off the cash.
• She nets another $750,000 if she graduates
“from an accredited university” and writes
“100 words or less describing what she intends
to do with the funds” — with the trustees
appointed by her dad to oversee her money
responsible for approving her essay.
• Both daughters get a big incentive to earn
decent salaries by 2020. Each young woman
is guaranteed to receive an annual payout of
three times the income listed on their personal
federal tax return. In a not-so-subtle nod
to the taxman, their checks will be cut every
• If the daughters have kids and don’t work
outside the house, the trustees will give them
each 3 percent of the value of their trust
every Jan. 1. There’s one catch: The money
flows only for a “child born in wedlock.”
• The sisters could earn the same amount being
“a caregiver” to their mother, Ewa Laboz,
58, whom their father was in the middle of
divorcing. She got nothing in the will and
has indicated that she will contest it.
On the face of it, these conditions are perfectly
reasonable. And it seems that the girls will get
their $10 million when they turn 35, whether they
comply with these terms or not.
But the marriage and college graduation
incentives apply only to the older daughter,
Marlena. It seems the younger daughter’s marriage
and college education are not subject to the same
terms, meaning she is not in line for these specific
Perceived inequality, even regarding some
minor thing, is big trouble when it comes to
But successful, type-A wealth creators are used
to getting their way. In death, as in life, they won’t
hesitate to punish the people, including family
members, who they feel wronged them and reward
Maurice Laboz did not offer equal incentives
to both girls.
Didn’t he want the same positive outcome
for both his daughters? Did he favor one girl
over the other? Or did one of them need more
encouragement than the other? The girls will
probably be asking those questions their entire lives.
to be continued
My name is Angie Diaz-Cervo and I was born on the 18th of November, 1965 in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I am the daughter of Haitian/Cuban sailor Anthony Salomon of Les Cayes and of Ghislene Moise of Benet, Haiti a seamstress. I am also the mother of two teenagers. The Salomon descent from Haitian President Lysius Felicite Salomon and The Diaz-Cervo family has a long, established history in New Jersey, dating back to 1996. My father died at the age of 43 in 1972 from pneumonia, which was also the likely result from a cold he caught overseas. I had a happy, normal childhood as an older child, leaving me somewhat spoiled. My mom remarried after ten years and her last husband was Andre, he became a big part of my life and I maintained close contact with him until his death in 2014. Growing up without my birth father impact me greatly and left me with an issue of abandonment and low self-esteem. I got over being timid by being a runway model for different Colleges and Church. My mother left to make a better life for us in the USA, her older brother Elias Moise came to the USA with a company and they give him the opportunity to get his green card, then after five years in America he became an American Citizen which gave him the advantage to sent for his brothers and sisters to come to the USA. Each of them worked hard for five years and became American Citizen. My mother worked hard for me to have the best education at the prestigious Gerard Gourge Preparatory School. I migrated to the states at the early age of fifteen with her three sisters Rith, Marthe, Dany and three brothers Abraham, Remps and Antoine. I continued on to Erasmus Hall High School in Brooklyn, NY then attended Essex County College and St. Peter’s College where I graduated in 1991, with an AAS in Arts and science. My working career started as a sales person at Valley Fair then I worked at Food town, Karen’s Curtain, Burger Kings when I was still in High School. After I earned an associate degree in Arts and Science and get my license in Radiology Technology after graduation I worked at Christ Hospital in Jersey City, New Jersey for two years and Union Hospital in Union, New Jersey for seven years. I also worked for Dr. Botwin and Innella for about one year part-time. While working in the operating room at Christ hospital a nurse mentioned to me that my neck was too big and I should go see an Endocrinologist. I found out that I had hyperthyroidism; I understood that was the reasons for my fatigue, sweaty feet, palpitation and mood swing. Soon after I met my ex-husband Jose Diaz-Cervo at Union Hospital in the Radiology Department, both of us worked there. Jose and I got married in 1995; I became the mother of his two children Daniel 4 1/2 and Kassandra 2 1/2 years old from a previous marriage. Due to complication from my thyroid surgery, I was informing by my doctor that I may not be able to have children. Eventually, Jose Diaz-Cervo and I have two children of our own. Prior to that, he and I had a partnership with Bushido Karate in East Hanover. In 1996, while working for Union Hospital, I became a businesswoman by co-founding DiCervo’s Inc/Kingdom Karate World Group LLC. which expand into several facilities and many black belts? With hard work and an impeccable work ethic, I quickly propelled DiCervo’s Inc into a thriving business. My intimate knowledge of the business community and geography of New Jersey make me one of the most qualified Program Director. We owned vending routes in New Jersey for about two years then we sold the route to run the Karate school full-time. I established and maintained positive relationships with parents, and students. I helped to establish expansion into several locations by recruited as many as 30 new clients per month. I developed and managed working staffs and graduated several black belts. I helped the team to generated sales per month and developed and implemented plans to encourage student participation. I implement and managed the development and maintenance of Summer Camp at the center. I carried out weekly treatment meeting and ensured clients are progressing. I did advertising and social Media outreach on networks such as Facebook, Twitter, etc. I promoted private sales & monthly events. I build relationships with bloggers & online publishers. I used database management to track social media & marketing progress. I implemented various projects related to merchandising & items processing. A friend of my ex-husband recruited him in a financial business and as his wife, I had to get involved somehow to work as a team. We worked hard days and late nights to propel in the business. We got promoted to Regional Vice-President in Primerica in 2004. In 2006 life became unbearable for me, my marriage was falling apart, my health deteriorated with hemorrhage. I used my knowledge in the field to develop my skills as a Haitian-American author. My first book entitled My Grateful Book from Dorrance Publishing is a direct result of my hard work as well as life experiences. Unfortunately, I got divorced after thirteen of marriage and it was not a friendly separation. I share my passion for writing by blogging about certain topics and issues which have an impact on my social life. In my leisure time, some of my activities include fashion, traveling, reading and writing as well as staying fit. I am a social butterfly. To reach my goal I have a set time to start the assignment around a learning environment, therefore, the distractions will be minimal. I am committed to managing my time so I can achieve the great result. I believe that I can succeed and overcome the obstacles in my life. I used my phone calendar to keep track of schedule events and it sent me reminders. After my divorce and illness from the thyroid disorder, I now work as an ABA paraprofessional and substitute teacher for special needs children. My success comes naturally from my creativity, a passion for people and my personality described as a social butterfly. I wear different hats in my life because my life is dividing into several categories. I am a creative person and my friend advised me that I work well under pressure. I enjoy the chaos in my life most of the time. I m comfortable being a mother and I am successful at it. I was well connected in the business community, I instilled confidence in people, and they knew they will always get a straight answer from me. In December 2009, I got divorced from my husband of fourteen years and the corporation. My next journey continues with blogging at Fan box then I became a success coach there, however, the company changed policy which made it more like a credit card company. I also work as a substitute teacher and currently continuing my education at the University Of Phoenix. Over 6 years ago, I had a catalyst event that transformed my life. Although it took me some time to come to grips with some of the challenges I was faced with at the time, I realized that I love people; and making a positive difference in their lives is where I get my rewards and satisfaction. I’ve had wonderful opportunities to meet and maintain friendships with some of the most educated and wonderful people. Time and time again, I’m taught that wisdom, understanding, empowerment, commitment and success come from the passion for you and the people in our lives. I wear different hats in my life because my life is dividing into several categories. I am a creative person and my friend advised me that I work well under pressure. I enjoy the chaos in my life most of the time. I m comfortable being a mother, and an ABA paraprofessional and I am successful at it. I will close out this autobiography with the most important thing in my life, my children, and my family. I am in a relationship with a wonderful man and we plan on getting married in two years. I cannot have any more children but we can adopt or be foster parents if we like.
No one should lose themselves in a relationship. On the contrary, one should become more of the person that they are and not less.
A relationship should make an individual thrive not constrict. One should grow not wither.
It’s imperative that an individual self-protect to ensure the relationship is a healthy one. A relationship that causes one to lose their sense of self is contrary to the word itself. It is by definition, “a connection between people,” not the abandonment of one for another.
The 3 Red Flags That You Are Losing Yourself in a Relationship:
Powerlessness: When a relationship becomes unbalanced with one person caring or trying more than the other, there is a shift. No one person should hold the power in the relationship, but no one should be powerless either. This is further heightened when a relationship is deteriorating and only one of the individuals is attempting to fix the problems. The unhealthier the relationship becomes and the more the focus switches to getting the other person to care enough to not lose it – one is, in the beginning, stages of losing themselves. The individual who is the only one trying to save the relationship loses sight of themselves while focusing all the energy on the significant other in an attempt to save the relationship. In fact, it takes two to care enough to save a relationship. The one who becomes powerless through their loss of self-gets used up.
Roles: The more a relationship develops into roles the greater the chance of losing one’s self. When a spouse takes on a role in a relationship they can become less of the individual. Partners can transition from respect to expected. It becomes two people with duties and roles rather than individuals sharing responsibilities. It also creates an imbalance in the partnership because roles generally involve one spouse tending to the other and the other providing the income. It creates a hierarchy in a relationship rather than an equilibrium. It fosters, spousal role related jokes, taking advantage of a spouse, and the income earning spouse potentially becoming more powerful. The spouse that takes on the tending role will lose them easily.
One Sided: Compromise is good. However, over compromising is not. It leads to giving too much of one’s self away. It leads to a one-sided relationship. If one is abandoning the majority of their needs, wants, interests, and pleasures to live how the significant other wants them to live then they are losing themselves. The more one sacrifices what is a part of themselves or important to them, the more they fail to live as themselves and the more they begin to live in the world of their spouse. A relationship should accentuate someone’s world, not ask them to live in another’s at the complete abandonment of who they are.
No one should have the power in a relationship, but no one should be powerless either. A person should strive for a healthy relationship that makes them blossom and grows, not wilt and wither and grow in someone else’s shadow.
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/3-Red-Flags-That-You-Are-Losing-Yourself-in-a-Relationship.aspx?p=2#RLxH3ht4sEOg8av6.99